It happens to me every Sunday; I wake up at about 12 mid-day, have my lunch and spend the rest of the afternoon in front of my comp, not meeting anyone and by 6, I am terribly depressed. Not having gone out the whole day takes a big toll on me. The thought of Mondays’ classes further brings me down. All I have to do is, wake up early and go out and meet people. Saturdays are fine, I go to a movie, maybe sometimes go out, or even order pizza.
Yesterday was one of those days when I was terribly depressed, you would know if you had me on yahoo messenger. The previous three days were very hectic, was out getting thing ready for saarang ad that was shot day before. With three days of meticulous planning for the impending night-out, nothing could possibly get wrong (okay, exaggerating a little). Was out of the campus couple of times, surrounded by noise and people all around me, time went past so swiftly that all of it seem unreal to me now.
All of a sudden, I am alone in my room with only Winamp to keep me company. After the night-out, I slept at about 8 am, woke up at 12 and just couldn’t pull myself together. The thought of being alone in my room haunted me for the rest of the day. Spent my time blog hopping, must have read about 20-30 blog posts by the end of the day. With only music and internet to keep me company. I updated my blog after a long time. This was the only thing I could that could keep me engaged. Most of my friends having gone home, the whole day was eventless. Sometimes I did get sms on my cell phone, but when I opened them with all the expectation and excitement of, perhaps, someone wanting to meet me, the message read, “Download latest Tamil / Hindi tunes….”
There are some songs which make me cheerful like “wish you were here”, Pink Floyd or “take it easy”, eagles or “you can run, but you can’t hide”, Phil Collins. Those songs did a little good. I probably heard “wish you were here” five times yesterday.
At about 9 pm, I got some respite from loneliness. Met one of my friends and decided to go out to shakes and cream (an ice-cream parlour near my college). We left the room at about 10:30 pm; thankfully it is one of the few places open till 12 midnight in Chennai. The city sleeps very early. We were back by 12:30 am and I felt a lot better thanks to two of my friends.
Today I am feeling a lot better, just the question of getting used to being alone, but I still can’t wait to get back to Bangalore and spend some time there. Three more days to go…..
I don’t know if there are others who get depressed this way. But it certainly is a painful state to be in.